What to Do When a Child Discloses Abuse | Ase Therapy and Services Guide

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month - a time to raise awareness, learn how to protect children, and empower adults with the knowledge to respond effectively if a child discloses abuse. In this two-part series, we’ll focus on what to do if a child confides in you about abuse and tangible tips for protecting children from harm.

Deciphering Disclosures

Disclosures of abuse aren’t always clear-cut. Young children may not have the vocabulary or understanding to articulate what happened. Sometimes, disclosures come out indirectly - through play, drawings, or offhand comments - while others may only share pieces of their story. If you suspect abuse, it’s important to gently and directly create space for honest conversations free of judgment or blame.

Dos and Don’ts of Responding to Disclosures

Children take cues from adults. How we respond in those critical first moments will set the tone of the conversation and may shape the child's response, either encouraging them to speak up or retreat in silence. Take a breath and center yourself; be careful not to project, dismiss, or doubt. Instead, validate their feelings by creating a supportive space for the child to speak freely.

Believe the child. Your role is to listen and support - not to determine if the disclosure is “real” or not. Once the child has shared, assess whether they are in immediate danger. If the child is at immediate risk, do what you can to remove them from the harmful situation.

Responding with phrases such as:

“Thank you for telling me this. I really appreciate it.”

“That was a big thing you were holding on to. I’m glad you trust me to help you with this.”

“Wow, I’m having some feelings about this, but I want to keep listening to you. Can you tell me more?”

Reporting Disclosures of Abuse

You are not responsible for investigating what happened. In fact, trying to do so could interfere with formal investigations. But you are responsible for reporting the disclosure. In most states, you don’t need concrete evidence to file a report - just reasonable suspicion. Contact your local child protective services in Maryland or contact the national helpline.

While reporting is essential, it’s equally important to protect the child’s privacy. Share only with those directly involved in getting them help (i.e., social workers, parents, and other safe adults). Due to the sensitive nature of abuse, not all adults have the tools to support children in the way they need. After the disclosure, continue offering support and check in on how they’re feeling. Let them know they are loved, believed, and safe with you.

Disclosures of abuse are not just moments – they are beginnings. How you respond can shape a child’s healing journey. Stay tuned for part two of this series, where we’ll share tangible tips for protecting children from abuse.

Talking Tips:

If something a child says raises a red flag, you can ask questions like:

“Has anyone touched your body in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?”
“Has someone asked you to do something you didn’t want to do or made you feel scared?”
“Has someone used a mean voice to make you do something?”

Validating the child’s experience might sound like: